Current:Home > Invest'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds. -Streamline Finance
'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher is suing the Tuohy family. Many know the pain of family wounds.
View
Date:2025-04-24 11:53:54
Former NFL star Michael Oher has sued the family that took him in, alleging they never legally adopted him and only sought to profit at his expense.
The legal fallout from his petition, filed in Tennessee court Monday, is still ongoing; however, many know the pain of getting betrayed, disowned or otherwise hurt by their so-called family − and mental health experts say these wounds can run deep.
"Research suggests that the same parts of the brain that process physical pain also process emotional pain, so being cut off or isolated or betrayed or rejected or disowned by your family physically hurts," Chelsey Cole, a psychotherapist and author, previously told USA TODAY, adding that isolation and loneliness brought on by family estrangement can put people at higher risk of anxiety, depression, heart disease and cognitive decline.
The wounds of family pain run deep
Taken in by Sean and Leigh Anne Tuohy while experiencing poverty and navigating the foster care system, Oher became a first-round draft pick after attending the Tuohys alma mater, Ole Miss. His life story was made into the 2009 blockbuster movie "The Blind Side" after the 2006 Michael Lewis book of the same name.
In his petition Monday, Oher alleged the Tuohy family deceived him of his legal family status and exploited his life for financial gain. He requested they stop using his name and likeness in addition to back pay for any money he may be owed.
He also said he discovered he was never legally adopted six months ago and called the situation "painful." (The Tuohy family is calling Oher’s claims of deceit "outlandish" and "transparently ridiculous," while also alleging this is not the former football player's first attempt to bring legal action against them.)
More:'The Blind Side' subject Michael Oher's blockbuster lawsuit against Tuohy family explained
Therapist Gregorio Lozano III previously told USA TODAY the pain brought on by family wounds is a primal one, originating from humanity's earliest ancestors.
"When we experienced a rejection from the tribe, that meant a life or death situation," he said. "Now, we don't have that aspect, but we still have the emotional trauma that can result from that."
For many, family is also a core part of one's identity. When someone is hurt by a family member or kept from having a relationship with their family, it can undermine their sense of self and self-worth.
"A lot of our identity is tied up into our family: 'Who are my parents? What kind of family do I come from? What do we believe?' " Cole said. "When there is this discord or disconnection or fracture in the family, it affects people to their core."
Rejection by one's family can also lead someone to question if something is "fundamentally wrong with them," Cole added, a self-doubt that can impact the other relationships that person has throughout their life.
"You just never feel like you fit in. You don't know where you belong," she said. "You're constantly wondering, 'Is this relationship OK?' You're constantly taking the emotional temperature of the relationship."
More:Michael Oher alleges 'Blind Side' family deceived him into conservatorship for financial gain
My family hurt me. What should I do?
If you're struggling with a family fracture or pain as the result of family, therapists offer the following advice:
- Seek therapy: Family fractures can bring on all kinds of mental health concerns that are best treated by professionals.
- Feel your feelings: Allowing yourself to acknowledge a feeling can be healthier than repressing it, Lozano said. "It's more of what we do with those feelings that matters."
- Build an identity outside your family: Finding passions, hobbies, community and values outside of family can help build self-worth and self-efficacy, Cole said.
- Reflect on how your family fracture may be affecting your other relationships: It's important to take stock of how feelings brought on by a fractured familial relationship may be impacting your other relationships, psychiatrist Dr. Dion Metzger previously told USA TODAY. "When there's an issue within our family and we feel estranged, it does affect how we approach our relationships, our romantic relationships and our friendships," she said.
- Find healthy relationships: For people with fractured families, Cole stressed the importance of "finding other healthy relationships where you do feel seen or you feel appreciated and supported and connected."
More:Joe Biden finally acknowledged his granddaughter. Many know the pain of a family fracture.
Contributing: Chris Bumbaca, USA TODAY; Jason Munz, Memphis Commercial Appeal
veryGood! (455)
Related
- What to know about Tuesday’s US House primaries to replace Matt Gaetz and Mike Waltz
- An abortion doula pivots after North Carolina's new restrictions
- Gov. Rejects Shutdown of Great Lakes Oil Pipeline That’s Losing Its Coating
- Turning Skiers Into Climate Voters with the Advocacy Potential of the NRA
- Former Danish minister for Greenland discusses Trump's push to acquire island
- Ulta 24-Hour Flash Deal: Get a Salon-Level Blowout and Save 50% On the Bondi Boost Blowout Brush
- West Virginia governor defends Do it for Babydog vaccine lottery after federal subpoena
- American Climate: A Shared Experience Connects Survivors of Disaster
- A White House order claims to end 'censorship.' What does that mean?
- Greenland’s Nearing a Climate Tipping Point. How Long Warming Lasts Will Decide Its Fate, Study Says
Ranking
- Alex Murdaugh’s murder appeal cites biased clerk and prejudicial evidence
- Cops say they're being poisoned by fentanyl. Experts say the risk is 'extremely low'
- Exxon Pushes Back on California Cities Suing It Over Climate Change
- She's a U.N. disability advocate who won't see her own blindness as a disability
- Are Instagram, Facebook and WhatsApp down? Meta says most issues resolved after outages
- In Australia’s Burning Forests, Signs We’ve Passed a Global Warming Tipping Point
- Wildfires Trap Thousands on Beach in Australia as Death Toll Rises
- Boston Progressives Expand the Green New Deal to Include Justice Concerns and Pandemic Recovery
Recommendation
Nearly 400 USAID contract employees laid off in wake of Trump's 'stop work' order
Boston Progressives Expand the Green New Deal to Include Justice Concerns and Pandemic Recovery
Legendary Singer Tina Turner Dead at 83
‘Super-Pollutant’ Emitted by 11 Chinese Chemical Plants Could Equal a Climate Catastrophe
Why we love Bear Pond Books, a ski town bookstore with a French bulldog 'Staff Pup'
Draft Airline Emission Rules are the Latest Trump Administration Effort to Change its Climate Record
CBS News poll finds most say colleges shouldn't factor race into admissions
Kim Kardashian Reveals What Really Led to Sad Breakup With Pete Davidson